F R E S H with Dice in the Mirror

Now this is the story all about how it's finally here.

my 100th post.

like, for real, not the fake out I did before.

So I've been trying to come up with something AMAZING to tell you about but I just couldn't think of anything super special.

Since you read my blog, I figure you're probably nosy.

So I'd like to take minute, you just sit right there and I'll tell you 100 things today, and I just know you'll love it.

#20

Lillee.

Autocorrect: Killer.

True Story.

Also, she is pulling herself up to stand and is wobbling around a little bit. She's 7 months!

 Sometimes she pitches little fits like this and it SUPER cute.

 But most of the time she's just chillin out maxin relaxin all cool.

She is such a ham.

#40

(did I mention we're counting by twenties?)

[you didn't think I was literally doing ONE HUNDRED things did you?]

Maddy Lee.

She  is such a nut.

We are finally getting around to potty training.

Our house is totally tile except the bedrooms, which means accidents are no big deal.

She will go potty all by herself now!...poopoo (or as Maddy calls it "eeeeeeeeew. yudt. " (that's yuck, b-t-dubs), on the other hand, is still being left haphazardly around the house.

As you can see here, she is going diaperless for now, which means lots of streaking going on in my house right now.

She likes to get in front of the camera when I try to take a picture of Killer. 

I have a hilarious picture of her big ole bubble butt right after this picture, when she pulled her shirt up, but I don't want to put anyone's panties in a twist so I'll just keep it to myself.

And possibly show it to her husband one day.

She loves "Hee-tah" so much.

Actually, my dog's name is Greta but Maddy doesn't make those sounds.

here, she's coloring Hee-tah with a purple crayon.

#60

My marvelous new kitchen (brought to you...well, actually brought to ME by my fantastic hubby).

See, I have a new kitchen because we're living in a new (to us) house because a couple of guys that were up to no good started making trouble in our neighborhood so we had to move.

He also managed to procure the stove and refrigerator for an insanely small portion of his hard earned pay check.

 

Is it just me, or are those knobs in a strange position?

#100

Straight from my (mama's) kitchen.

it's idiot proof, I tell you.

I can't tell you how hard I've seen people struggle with getting a freaking skin off an onion...those same people end up with the onion rolling around on the cutting board while they try to hold it still and nearly chop off their fingers, all the while crying their eyes out because the onion is so strong.

1-- cut the ends off the onion. while the skin is still on the onion. (gasp)

2-- turn the onion up on end (you now have a flat edge to work with, which is the #1 rule of kniving in the kitchen.) yes I just made up the verb kniving.

3-- slice the onion in half from top to bottom

4-- now just peel back the outermost layer of onion and watch in amazement as the whole skin just peels away with it.

5--now put the onion down on the flat edge, and begin slicing. When you get to the point that it's difficult to keep the onion still, turn it around so can use the bigger flat edge to keep the onion tight against the edge of your knife.

6-- My biggest secret, see that little green piece I'm holding? well, that's the very center of the onion (or half of it anyway). That's where all the sulfur is that makes you act like a big old baby. Pull that piece out first and throw it away before you start kniving.

So there you go.

Next time I see someone struggling with an onion, I'm going to do the head smack thing from the "shoulda had a V-8" commercial.

(wondering what happened to #80? That was Scott's section. Being the man of mystery that he is--and the fact that his job is very public and dangerous-- I have to keep all his private deets on the D/L)

P.S. For those of you who just read that 3 times in your head, then even said it aloud, and your still going "what the *bleep* does that even mean?"-- I can't give out Scott's personal info or talk about him on here.

kbye.

p.p.s. this post has a funny. if you get it, please leave a comment.

Energizer Bunny in the Grocery Store

ok y'all.
sorry I've been silent.
as if that's a bad thing (HA!).
we've been moving.
thank the good LORD we are in a house now.
apartments are doodoo.

I don't have much to write about today, but I wanted to share with you the fact that my brain had been totally washed by toddler speak.

I find myself telling other adults "I have to go potty" or "Ew, I think Maddy made a stinky"...as if baby talk is acceptable to normal humans.

I know there are lots of other goofy words/phrases I use with grown people that I have just gotten in the habit of using with the chirruns. I can't think of them all right now.

But another I've noticed is that when people want to come up to me in public because of the girls and go on and on about how cute they are and how they have 12 grand children and #3 wet his bed until he was 7 but he learned how to jump rope before he could walk and I better make sure i don't let them play in the street cause their neighbor's kid picked up a piece of tar and ate it and he had to have it surgically removed; oh and are you breastfeeding? Cause that's a big ole baby...anyway what I was trying to say is that when that happens, the best thing to do is to talk to Maddy as an excuse to leave because otherwise the people just stay and prolong the awkwardness. Like, I'd say "Maddy, I think we need to get home for a nap" or "Well, girl, we better hurry home to daddy". Cause if you talk to your kid and start walking away, somehow that's like a magical power to make people leave you alone. But if you try to just end the conversation like a normal adult, they keep going...and going and going. Like the dang energizer bunny. My goodness. And you really want these people to be awkward/feel entitled to tell you all about all of the children they've ever come in contact with in their entire life, just dress your 16-months-apart children in matching outfits. It's like a beacon to the overly friendly, saying "come talk to our mommy. she really wants to hear your stories! Please!". ugh. And then when people ask if my girls are twins, I usually kind of do a double take. It probably only takes half a second (and I'm sure my jaw drops and my mouth just hangs open like an idiot because I'm dumbfounded) I look at the girls, then back at the person who asked, then I finally stammer "oh no they're 16 months apart. I mean...Chunk if fat, but how the heck do you think I had twins and one is walking while the other can barely sit up in the buggy. You think Chunk just waited a few months to come out? I mean...gracious.

whew.

Grocery shopping is rough y'all. And they two babies in the cart aren't even the hard part!