Politically Correct Nursery Rhymes

My grandmother gave me a stack of books for the girls that she had when I was their age. 

It's pretty awesome to read them to the chirruns and reminisce about my grandmother reading them to me.

And also entertaining to compare the times.

For example:

This would never fly these days. If this was published now, you'd have PETA, DFACS, English teachers across America, the police, and a psychiatrist all demanding that it be removed.
In fact, if it was written today, it'd go something like this:

Tom, the Piper's son,
rescued a pig from becoming bacon.
He went home to eat tofu-bacon,
his Daddies sent him to time out to think about his actions,
and Tom was a good little boy who told his psychiatrist all about it in therapy.

yeah. these times are scary y'al.