Thankful Thursday, I can't Alitterate

I am thankful every single day. But today is THursday and that fits in with THankful, so I'm going to make a fun little alliteration blog post.

This THankful Thursday, I'm THankful for 

CHUbby CHUnk

Silly Lillee (Ok, that's not an alliteration, but give me a break here, yo)

Bathtime Brats

Ok forget the alliteration, I'm not feeling creative this morning. I am so thankful for naked babies helping with laundry.

For cornmeal chirruns games,

for deformed peanut butter cookies,

and backyards and puppy dogs and bathing suits.

Bloglovin

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Fore more info, check out Hubby Jack's post about how to import all your favorite blogs to  Bloglovin here.

This is important if you want to continue to get automatic updates whenever I post because Google Reader is going away forever.

kbye.

Maddy Monday Episode 3

It's Maddy Monday!

Before you get to see the latest episode, I have to give a few disclaimers.

1- I promise I put clothes on my children EVERY SINGLE morning.

2- Maddy hates clothing

3- stay tuned for a guest appearance in the next few episodes!

Wedding Deets

 

When I saw this link up on Mama's blog, I knew I wanted to write a post for it.

I think about our wedding a lot, and I just want to tell everyone what I loved, what I regret, what I wish I had done, and just be done with it so I don't have to dwell on it anymore.

We didn't really want a wedding in the first place, so weren't super enthusiastic about planning it.

I knew that I wanted to get married on the 13th because my parent's first date was june 13th and they were married on May 13th. So I knew I wanted to have something special to share with them.

That year the only 13ths on a saturday were February or June. We had a pastor in mind already and liked his church for the  venue, and in June, they would have VBS with the sanctuary decorated as a jungle. So we went with february.

The day before Valentines. I know. so Cliche.

 It ended up being a beautiful day. Even though it was freezing, the roads were iced over, and some of the wedding party wasn't even able to come to rehearsal, the snow was gorgeous that day.

And I think we only had 2 or 3 guests who didn't make it.

 

 We had no clue about anything so we had my mom's good friend Carol be our planner/coordinator. She definitely saved the day. We didn't even know the order of procession without her!

 The rehearsal was perfect for me. We had fun, enjoyed dressing up, and had a delicious dinner!

My favorite part of the wedding was the patriotic theme. I know it's goofy but the red white and blue was really pretty and Scott was so much more comfortable wearing his ACUs instead of dressing up. Plus camo is always sexy.

I wish that we had done either a more intimate wedding or just gone all out and had like 500 people.
We had about 50 guests, and the only reason we did that is because we were "supposed to".

I mean, we loved everyone who came, but it wasn't what we wanted.

Parents, Maid of Honor, and Best Man would have made us happy.

I absolutely do not regret my choice for Maid of Honor.

My cousin Jessy is one of my best friends.

She is beautiful and I am incredibly blessed that she was part of that day.

I loved my other bridesmaids too, but now with Pinterest and all, I realize that there's actually a purpose for them. Mine just kind of bought dresses, took me out for a bachelorette party and showed up to the wedding...I didn't really involve them in anything. Oops.

I loved my dress and the matching one my flower girl wore. I wish I had bought the stupid thing that goes under the dress to make the skirt poof out really big, like the flower girl's does. 

I am so thankful she was able to be in our wedding because her parents have been a part of my life since I was really young. They used to watch me for my parents and both have worked for my parents. In fact, her dad is still their General Manager and he's a great guy!

Probably the best part of the actual ceremony was the kiss.

the whole crowd laughed cause it look like Scooter grabbed my butt.

We were so relieved to have it done!

And it was so exhausting for us because we were so uncomfortable, we ended up looking depressed. But I promise we were so happy!

Here, we're both thinking "why didn't we just elope instead of all this mess?"

Another thing that I LOVED about my wedding was my dad's outfit. My dad is 5'6" tall and my mom is almost 6 feet. I chose for my dad to wear a WHITE tux! and it was amazing:)

I also wish that we had had a private wedding then had a massive reception party.

That being said, though, our reception was exactly what we wanted/needed after being so uncomfortable during the wedding.

Neither of us wanted to have everyone looking at us, but whatever.

For the reception, we went all redneck.

Scott's cake was a S&W 500 revolver, which he cut with a spade.

We had Mexican food catered!

I wish we hadn't done all the normal stuff like the first dance and garter and all that. 

we just aren't those kind of people I guess.

And I totally wish we had done a funny dance with the whole wedding party.

Our vows weren't anything special or creative. They were pretty basic. But I am so blessed to have had Jack marry us because he really influenced the course of our marriage. Before he agreed to marry us, he required several sessions of premarital counseling with him and his wife.

He also told us that only way he would do it was if we committed to him to NEVER let divorce be an option.

That promise we made to him saved us in the low point of our relationship. I thank God for Jack because he kept us together.

And lastly, I was pretty happy with the groomsmen. They didn't do anything too wild or crazy. They tried to prank the truck with vaseline on the shifter and baby powder in the A/C vents. Unfortunately, Scott grabbed the gear stick in a strange place and didn't get the goop on him, and the AC in the truck wasn't very good so the baby powder just kind of fell out instead of bursting onto us.

 All in all, when I think about my wedding, I remember the special message on our tailgate.

I could have married Mitch.

 

Cops 101

Things I've learned being a cop's wife.

Don't hide valuables in the fridge. Thieves tend to be the type of people who, after breaking into your house, trashing the place, stealing all you nice things, and totally exhausting themselves, will sit down at your dinner table and have themselves some of your left overs and big old glass of sweet tea. Then they'll have dessert.

Never, ever whine, complain, argue or fight with a cop. They don't know the whole story because they weren't there. They have to rely on the call they received, and their safety is their first priority. You start acting like a lunatic, and ERRRRBODY GOES TO JAIL. Ok well probably not jail, but you'll end up in handcuffs, when you could have just been respectful.

Cops deal with a lot of different people. Most of them are the slime on society's backside. They all speak with different accents, dialects, etc. So cops are multi-lingual. They speak english, thug, ebonics, angry-old-woman-screech, pissed-off-gangsta, high-society-eloquence, judicial jargon, and many more. And they're good at it. THey're like the kids who grow up in a bilingual home...they just effortlessly switch back and forth based on who they're talking to. It's actually really entertaining.


Drunk people aren't usually funny, but occasionally you get one that's as hilarious as the TV shows make them out to be. They'll sit on a rotten banana without realizing it. Then they'll tell you they're 22 with a 19 year old son. Five minutes later they'll be 19, and swear they haven't had a drink, Officer. The bad part is when the cop has to clean the rotten banana off his back seat and throw his gloves away cause he can't get the banana smell out.

They may not admit to it, but cops have special radio codes for going to the bathroom. Cops poop too, y'all.

I Don't Know What to Call Scott

Today, P-Dub wrote a post about how she is different from her husband, Marlboro Man.

It made me want to come up with a cool name for Scott.

But mainly, it just inspired me to write a post about how Scott and I are different.

1. When I see blocks on the floor, I cringe at the thought of stepping on one. (equivalent to stepping on a lego).
When Scott see's blocks on the floor, he gets in the floor with Maddy and spends an hour building an M4. (see above)

2. Scott like to jump feet first into a project, even if he has NO idea at all what he's is doing.
I prefer to research and ask questions until I'm an expert and can stand and watch and tell him every single thing he does wrong. We rarely do projects together:) And I'm working on it.

3. I love mayonnaise. On anything. And everything.
Scott played a game with his sister when he was kid where one gets blindfolded and the other gives them a spoonful of food and they try to guess what it is. Scott got a spoonful of mayo and hasn't eaten it ever since.

4. Scooter drinks beer casually. He never has more than one and he loves to try different kinds. He thinks nothing of it.
Sometimes, I desperately WANT to like alcohol. I have tried every kind of alcohol we can find and have NEVER had more than two sips of the same thing. I just can't.

5. He likes food.
I like good food.

6. I squeal like a girl if I see a huge snake.
Scott...oh. well, he's not different on this one.

7. I can sleep naked, fully clothed, or wrapped up for a blizzard.
Mr. Tough Guy can only sleep in a regular T shirt and boxers.

8. I read all the time.
He farts a lot.

9. People typically recognize my intelligence.
Scott is quite possibly smarter than I am, people just don't recognize it behind his good ole boy accent.

10. The hubby-dub (that doesn't work, does it? oh well) gets some fake money at work on a case and decides to learn how the criminals make fake money so he is more knowledgeable next time. He even read a blog just about novelty money making.
I read blogs about food and weight loss and non-slip workout headbands.

11. I'm a great driver because I learned from my daddy.
Scott's a great high-speed driver cause he's a lunatic highly trained law enforcement professional.

12. To avoid photos, Scott makes funny faces.
I make ugly faces.
His way is much more attractive once the photos are printed.

13. Scott dresses Maddy:

I dress Maddy:

How are you and your spouse different? 

Leave me a link your blog post or just tell me in the comments!

I love being nosy and reading about other people:)

Chirruns

Pretty much every time I look at Chunk, she is eating or wanting to eat.

I honestly think she spends every waking moment thinking of food. 

Don't believe me? Over the last week or so I have taken probably 30 pictures of her.

Here's a sample that represents what I took.

Eating:

Then, I realize her eyes are open in these, but she legit (yes, i just said that) about to fall asleep. And the one where her face is smashed into my leg?

She was PASSED OUT!

Then we have Maddy, who is practicing for her 2nd birthday. She's got the sass down perfectly.

She also really loves her daddy. Both of my girls love their daddy, actually, but Maddy can actually tell us with words now. Last night when Scott and I tucked the girls in, Maddy said "night night dad". what did I get? "night. unh." 

This wasn't even a fathers day picture or anything...totally unplanned. 

Those were just the jammies she wore the night before.

And even better, they were free jammies that my awesome real life and bloggy friend gave us last year!

Just in case you've never been around a two year old, let me share with you some common Maddy antics.

First, there's pouting. In this case, it's because the pizza isn't done yet.

 Then there's the sass.

For Moo, that invovles:

• belly poked out
• hip to one side
• arms swinging big
• hilariously adult hand movements

 There the sissy "love" which roughly translates into torture for poor Chunk.

 Speaking of torturing Chunk, I wish I had been able to get pictures, but honestly at the time I didn't think it was too funny. The girls share a room, and yesterday during nap time I heard a big crash. It just sounded like Maddy knocked her toy box off the shelf, and I heard her still laughing, so I knew she was OK. Then about 3 or 4 minutes later Chunk just started screaming. At first I thought Maddy just woke her up, but the screaming escalated and turned into sobbing/gasping for air. So I opened their door, took in the disaster area of toys, then realized Maddy was in the crib with Lillee. Maddy was not only in the crib, but she also had Chunk in a head lock. And as if that wasn't bad enough, she somehow had a tube of mascara. It was one of those lash extension kinds so it had a white end and a black end. Well, she had the white end out and as she held Chunk captive, she painted Chunk's hair/face with the eyelash extender. True story. My child is crazy. Don't worry, everyone survived.

Next there's the eating. She's to the point where she can eat anything without me having to chop, peel, dice, mash, chew, slice, blend, puree, or bottle it first.

And the child can eat a whole apple. I caught her eating the core too. She's a nut.

RANT

SO I have been noticing in several of the blogs that I read that commenters are complaining about how bloggers make their life/marriage seem so perfect, but that's not realistic.

One person complained that a blogger made it seem like her husband was PERFECT and that just wasn't being honest.

Well, I have an opinion about that.

WHY ON EARTH WOULD ANYONE WRITE ABOUT THEIR SPOUSE'S FLAWS, FAILURES, SHORTCOMINGS, ISSUES, ARGUMENTS, PET PEEVES, OR DIRTY UNDERWEAR ON A PUBLIC BLOG?!?!

I mean , my goodness people.

Of course everything on a blog is going to be all peaches and cream and roses and sweet and spicy and...okay so I got carried away there, but my point is, there's no need for the negatives.

What do these people expect?

Do you want us bloggers to start providing a transcript of every argument that goes on in our household?

Do you want us to have a weekly post about all the things our spouse did wrong this week?

Should we start discussing how we deserve better because so-and-so is worthless?

Come ON. 

Graciousness.

If I told you about the negatives in my life/marriage...I would have them much longer.

Those things are between me and Scott. And God.

Scott is fantastic, but even if he wasn't, I'd think of something positive to say about him because that's how you build up a marriage...not by hanging the dirty laundry on the front-yard-clothes-line. 

ugh.

people are just so ridiculous.

No, my life isn't perfect.

But I'm not about to tell you that, especially when there's a chance Scott would read it and be devastated.

Onions for Dummies (I know you're smart!)

So today is a link up that I like to do/ read through so I am re-posting my tutorial, with a little more explanation. If you read my 100 th post then you have already seen most of this, but I'm rewriting some things. 

 First, let me explain why I wrote this post in the first place. I have seen so many people struggle with onions. Most people don't have superb kniving skills. (yes, I made that up. Just go with it) I realize that not everyone got to learn to cook from a master chef, so some people just do things the way they were taught and never even realize they're struggling. That being said, I don't have time to address all the struggles at once, so I started with one that I absolutely have a solution for.

Have you ever tried or seen some try to remove the flaky skin from an onion while the onion is still in tact? It's a sad sight. Usually it takes about 10 minutes and the skin ends up crumbling into these tiny little crispy confetti-like pieces that get into all of your food, stick to your cutting board, and resist the broom like nothing else. And these are usually the same people who try to slice up their onion as it rolls uncontrollably across the cutting board, taking their fingers on a dangerous ride in and out of knife range. 

Let me just tell you, that technique is a recipe for disaster (and shortened fingers). So I have a solution to both the peeling and the chopping dilemma. 

 First, cut off each end of the onion. These pieces are no good anyway, and once you make these first two cuts you will have a flat edge to work with. You always want to have a flat edge on the cutting board side. And if at all possible, it's best to have a flat edge on the side you're cutting as well.

Turn your onion up on the flat edge, and slice it in half from top to bottom. You now have two onion halves. (I realize this doesn't work if you're making onion rings...my solution? Make onion petals instead, like Longhorn or Outback). Now, as you can see in the picture above, the skin and very first layer of the onion peel off with almost no effort. And it all comes off in one swift motion.

No before you start the next step, look at the bottom, middle picture above. See that little green thang? That's the middle of the onion. He's the culprit of the tear-inducing-chaos. If you pull that little wedge out before you start chopping, the bawling will be minimal, I promise. Don't get too attached...I know he's a cute little onion wedge.

Next, lay your onion half with the largest flat edge toward the cutting board. Here's where I can't give specific directions. You can dice, slice, chop, julienne, chiffonade, mince, allumette, etc. But lets just chop for now...this is a rough chop because that's what I took pictures of. Slice your onion in one direction most of the way across. When you get to the point that your knife starts to slip towards your non-kniving hand, simply rotate the onion wedge 180 degrees so the slope is going away from your hand. You can press your knuckles against the flat side to keep pressure against it, and now if your knife slips, it just smacks the cutting board. And you still have 10 fingers. Genius, I know. That's basically it.

You're welcome.

Now get to chopping:)

kbye.

Maddy Monday and Mom of the Year Y'all

 

Ok...Today I have another "Mom of the Year, Y'all" worthy story.

First of all the girls woke up at 6 am this morning.
That's fine because that's when Scott and I get up anyway but the girls usually sleep until about 8.

So Once Scott left for work, I had to go back to the bedroom to make the bed and pick up.

When I came back...here's what I found:

They're upset because I took the dogfood away from them.

There's no telling how much they actually ate.

Mom of the Year, Y'all, right here.

And here is the next episode of Maddy Monday.

ramblings from my run

When I was pregnant with Chunk i got up to about 195 pounds. 

Actually 198.

I lost the first 25 pounds without any effort.
(I guess having a 9 1/2 pound baby probably didn't hurt)

But then weight loss got difficult.

Nursing kind of makes the whole weight loss thing tricky.

Some say it helps lose the weight, some say it makes you hold extra pounds, some say eat more, some say eat less, some say don't lose the weight til you wean, blah blah blah.

So anyway, Now Lillee is 7 months old and I still have weight to lost to get back to my pre-Maddy 140.

For the last month I've been walking and doing strength training and throwing in some insanity once in a while.

I'm down to 146 and feel great.

So I decided I was ready to go run.

So I did.

And I managed to do 2 miles.

I ran today for the second time and did 2 miles again.

I wanted to quit so bad after the first mile. 

It was hot, I had a cramp, and my phone wouldn't play my music.

I just wanted to give up and be happy that I did the first mile.

But then I realized...it wasn't really that hard.

I wasn't dying.

I wasn't even breathing that hard.

In fact, I wasn't having any pains or soreness at all.

Still, I had those lazy girl thoughts that I could quit and just be proud that I was doing more than yesterday.
But I knew I wouldn't be proud of myself for that.

I checked my GPS to see how far in I was.

At 1.4 miles, I was ready to give up again.

it got so bad i was having to repeat "I can do it" over and over with every single step.

As I got the last .2 miles or so, I realized that I made it through and I wasn't having to convince myself anymore. I was just doing it.

And as I picked up my pace, I remembered one of my favorite hymns (that has really nothing to do with running, but has a great tempo to finish my run on a strong stretch).

O victory in Jesus,

my savior forever.

Who sought me, and bought me with his redeeming blood.

He loved me ere I knew him,

and all my love is due him.

He plunged me to victory

beneath the cleansing flood.

I love hymns because 1--they're a but nostalgic cause they remind me of going to church before all the hype with Christian rock started...when there was just a piano, an organ, and a choir, and 2-- because something about old english words/grammar just lift my soul up more than contemporary lyrics.

I just love hymns.

Traditional hymns.

hymns=love.

Five on Friday

 

Ok. I'm doing this link up for the first time, and I have the perfect theme for it for this past week or so.

 

So here are 5 blessings Scott and I have received lately.

-1-

A new car.

This is a huge blessing in a few ways. That we were able to get approved. That we were able to afford it. That it's our first brand new car. That we have been needing and wanting a new car for over a year and thought we'd end up with some crappy, tiny car. Nope. God is good, and we got EXACTLY what we wanted!!

-2-

A house.

it's not technically ours, but it's so nice to live here.

No more tiny apartments.

No more having to take the dog out 523 times a day.

No more wishing we had a yard for the chirruns.

And it's not breaking the bank. Well, at least not single handedly.

-3-

A fridge and a stove.

Who ever thought having appliances could be such a relief.

This house didn't come with appliances and we were short on funds from our moving expenses. 

Scott found our fridge and stove, which you can see~here~ for a grand total of $275. Dang straight.

-4-

A storage shed for the back yard.

I know that sounds silly, but it's really nice to be able to get somethings Scott.

It's definitely a man thing, but a blessing nonetheless.

-5-

Last but not least, a HUGE blessing lately has been Scott's job.

Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's hellish, but it's what he loves, and it pays the bills.

Plus he can work overtime and still enjoy himself. 

That's always nice:)       

kbye.     

Well, I Tried Y'all

Here's a realtime interview with Scott.

I put no planning into this, and I'm sitting here typing as I ask him the questions.

Here we go:

If you could travel in a time machine, would you go backward or forward?

*cuts his eyes at me* [pause] I dunno.

If you could invite any 5 people in the world to dinner, who would it be?

What kind of questions are these? I don't know. Just put "I don't know" for all of them.

Can you at least name one person?

mmm...Kevin Van Dam. Hahahaha

What's one thing you would never eat?

mmmm....[pause]. tongue.

What's your favorite cop story?

*huffs* I don't know. You're trying to make me think. I don't like having to do that.

The girls are growing up so fast. How do you feel about that?

*cuts his eyes at me*

*watches TV*

[pause]

I don't know.

I don't know baby.

What's you favorite Maddy says or does?

The other morning when she peeked out of her room early in the morning and said "Mom".

What is this show you're watching?

*continues staring at the TV*

He's watching UFC.

Scott.

what?

what are you doing?

...

are you just ignoring me?

mmmhmmm.

 

Is Jason Aldean wearing a scarf?

looks like it.

I'm gonna get you one.

 

 

I give up. That's all you get.

F R E S H with Dice in the Mirror

Now this is the story all about how it's finally here.

my 100th post.

like, for real, not the fake out I did before.

So I've been trying to come up with something AMAZING to tell you about but I just couldn't think of anything super special.

Since you read my blog, I figure you're probably nosy.

So I'd like to take minute, you just sit right there and I'll tell you 100 things today, and I just know you'll love it.

#20

Lillee.

Autocorrect: Killer.

True Story.

Also, she is pulling herself up to stand and is wobbling around a little bit. She's 7 months!

 Sometimes she pitches little fits like this and it SUPER cute.

 But most of the time she's just chillin out maxin relaxin all cool.

She is such a ham.

#40

(did I mention we're counting by twenties?)

[you didn't think I was literally doing ONE HUNDRED things did you?]

Maddy Lee.

She  is such a nut.

We are finally getting around to potty training.

Our house is totally tile except the bedrooms, which means accidents are no big deal.

She will go potty all by herself now!...poopoo (or as Maddy calls it "eeeeeeeeew. yudt. " (that's yuck, b-t-dubs), on the other hand, is still being left haphazardly around the house.

As you can see here, she is going diaperless for now, which means lots of streaking going on in my house right now.

She likes to get in front of the camera when I try to take a picture of Killer. 

I have a hilarious picture of her big ole bubble butt right after this picture, when she pulled her shirt up, but I don't want to put anyone's panties in a twist so I'll just keep it to myself.

And possibly show it to her husband one day.

She loves "Hee-tah" so much.

Actually, my dog's name is Greta but Maddy doesn't make those sounds.

here, she's coloring Hee-tah with a purple crayon.

#60

My marvelous new kitchen (brought to you...well, actually brought to ME by my fantastic hubby).

See, I have a new kitchen because we're living in a new (to us) house because a couple of guys that were up to no good started making trouble in our neighborhood so we had to move.

He also managed to procure the stove and refrigerator for an insanely small portion of his hard earned pay check.

 

Is it just me, or are those knobs in a strange position?

#100

Straight from my (mama's) kitchen.

it's idiot proof, I tell you.

I can't tell you how hard I've seen people struggle with getting a freaking skin off an onion...those same people end up with the onion rolling around on the cutting board while they try to hold it still and nearly chop off their fingers, all the while crying their eyes out because the onion is so strong.

1-- cut the ends off the onion. while the skin is still on the onion. (gasp)

2-- turn the onion up on end (you now have a flat edge to work with, which is the #1 rule of kniving in the kitchen.) yes I just made up the verb kniving.

3-- slice the onion in half from top to bottom

4-- now just peel back the outermost layer of onion and watch in amazement as the whole skin just peels away with it.

5--now put the onion down on the flat edge, and begin slicing. When you get to the point that it's difficult to keep the onion still, turn it around so can use the bigger flat edge to keep the onion tight against the edge of your knife.

6-- My biggest secret, see that little green piece I'm holding? well, that's the very center of the onion (or half of it anyway). That's where all the sulfur is that makes you act like a big old baby. Pull that piece out first and throw it away before you start kniving.

So there you go.

Next time I see someone struggling with an onion, I'm going to do the head smack thing from the "shoulda had a V-8" commercial.

(wondering what happened to #80? That was Scott's section. Being the man of mystery that he is--and the fact that his job is very public and dangerous-- I have to keep all his private deets on the D/L)

P.S. For those of you who just read that 3 times in your head, then even said it aloud, and your still going "what the *bleep* does that even mean?"-- I can't give out Scott's personal info or talk about him on here.

kbye.

p.p.s. this post has a funny. if you get it, please leave a comment.