Tuesday, April 16, 2013

aint supposed to slurp that junk

I really want to share an epiphany with y'all.
Problem is, I haven't really had any lately:(
I have no idea what to write about.
Or what anyone wants to read about.

So let me tell y'all a story about my mama.
When I was...hmmm...maybe 4 or 5 years old, the kids at daycare were making fun of me and saying my mom was fat. So when my mom picked me up that day I was crying, and she asked what was wrong. Between making fish sucking noises and snot running down my face i said "they said ...*gasping fish*...you were *gasping fish again* ...FATTTTTTTTT".
My mom, in her typical, happy, nonchalant way responded, 'well...I am."

Fast forward a few years at Christmas time and my mom and her friend are having a glass of whine.
they decided they would put up all the Christmas decorations that night. First up...Christmas lights across the back deck. This is a pretty normal thing. The problem comes when you get to the bottom of the stairs and need to get the string of lights to the other side. So what did they do?
They stapled the lights to the GROUND. like...staple going into dirt. what fools.

Then a few years later me and my next-door-neighbor-BFF wanted to make a cookie cake mothers day surprise for our  moms. her older sister helped us, we showed it to their mom, and then decided to walk it over to show my mom before we cut any pieces. So we get to my house, open then door and shout HAPPY MOTHERS-ohh!--- and katie practically tripped over us trying to back out of the door. Why? because my mother was cooking dinner in her underwear! 
lol that is so funny I just can't even describe how hilarious it was.

fast forward again and my mom has a head cold. she decides to try the Zicam lollipops. So she buys a box of them, sits on her bed, and opens one up. She squishes all that liquidy-medicine-goodness to the tip of the little wrapper, and slurps it up. Then she proceeds to nearly puke because it's the nastiest thing she has ever tasted. Well...here's the problem y'all.
Zicam doesn't make lollipops.
Zicam makes Q-tip-like swabs that you use to put the medicine up inside your nostril.
I'm assuming it's something similar to vapo-rub.
One thing i know fo sho y'all...
you ain't supposed to slurp that junk.

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