Friday, May 24, 2013

Birds and Bees, and Baby Squashies

I'm feeling rather uninspired today.
So I guess I'll share with you my most recent adventure with my little squashies.
I've had about 20 little baby squashies on my plant for over a week now.
For those of you who have grown squash before, you know that these should no longer be babies...they should be fully grown, picked, cooked, and in my belly by now.
So I couldn't figure out the problem.
Turns out squash have some romance issues.
You see, there are boy squash blossoms and then there are girl squash blossoms.
Just like people, the girls make the babies.
But they sort of need the boys' help if catch my drift.
Only here's where it gets a wee bit sketchy...
the bees have to do the dirty business.
Not just once, but three times for every girl flower.
And if a girl blossom isn't pollinated 3 whole times by those busy little bees, well, no baby squashies.
Actually, you still get baby squashies, but they end up tiny and deformed and shrunken and they're just pitiful.
 So I have a bee problem I suppose.
My bees either aren't doing the deed, or they're stealing all the boys' pollen and taking it elsewhere.
Which I supposed might be good for the boy flowers, but my girl blossoms are feeling a little forgotten.
My bees are defective and it really stinks.
So, like any classy lady would do to attract to bees to the goods, I've positioned all of my flower pots strategically around my squash to lure those bees to the squash, and then hopefully keep them close so they don't abscond with my boy pollen.

And that my friends is the birds and the bees, condensed version.
Oh, and I guess you're wondering where the bird comes in?
Well, that dumb chicken is still running around. I bet he's eating my bees. Ugh.

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